I AM CATCHY ON THE CARTOON!
before you read this. i must let you know:
1) conan only appears once or twice in this story. im sorry to let you guys down. but i will make another conan...thing...sometime...in the future. you know its kind of weird to walk around talking pictures of yourself and then a cut out of a cartoon conan obrien. sort of sad. but man oh man, the day shall come again.
2) this may not be that exciting. but there are 86+ pictures to look at!
3) happy birthday steven!
4) if some of the pics are x's, reload, or right click inside the empty squaaaare, and click SHOW PICTURE. its weird.
5)the pics are all fuzzy cause i saved them on low quality therefore everyones face looooks distruvueed.
here we go!!!
yesterday began bright and early...in the wee hours of the am.
...8am to be exact.
and i was like
WOOO MOMMY ITS TIME TO SHOP FOR STEVEN!!!! and she was like "sleep. sleep."
and i was like "aaaaaah mofhtehrfiukcer...."
so finally i got my mom out of bed and away from jerry and we left and it wasssss 10:30 at that point and i was like "lameee asss"
so we went to drop off my little brothers cake thing at the place....
i waited in the car.
the gloriisssus bottle return place of justice.
conan tried to sweet talk me...i was like "dont get fresh with me, biatch. no clues, for sure"
needless to say he backed off.
and i was boooored.
then my mom and i went all over t0wn and we bought basketball hoopage and transformers and exciting toys that 14 year old boys like and shit yes it was fun squared!!!!
my mom calls this FINGER DANCING!!!! she thinks she invented it :)
i will not tell her different.
we were dancing to WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE! WE GOTS FUN AND GAMES! WE GOT CANDY CORN! AND MONKEY CLAIMS...blahblahblah ect...
so we got home and my bro put the basketball hoop into the shed for secret keeping !!!! !
then i was all.....SHOWERTIME FOR GUMPAGE TIME SURPRISE AFTERNOON!
and i drove drove drove to the gumpanators home at 2:30!!! and i watched my pink gnome...
i am a bad driver cause im like OOOH LOOK AT THAT I AM DRIVING AND TAKING PICTURES AT THE SAME TIME GUM BASTHERS!
so i got to the gumps and we got all snazzy and sammy arrived! oh yes!
we gots in the cars and we GOOOOOOOOOES...to the fabric store ;)
my foam bed. it was nice. i had a fabric blanket, and a foam bed, and a polyfil bag pillow. and it was....amazing.............
heather b insanitized!
extreme close up!
then heather was like...
AMADAS CAMERA IS WAY COOLER THAN MINE!!!!
and there waas some CRAZY PSYCHO BITCH RUNNING THE CUTTING CENTURY
secretly, i photosnapped her...
BITCHASS MOFO SHE WAS ALL LIKE "GHAHAHAHAH FABRIC DOESNT COME IN PINK!" to brittany and im gonna kick her ass and then me and brit are gonna make a bink cotton wedding dress and shove it in her faaaaaceage
so we left and we went to target, where no photos are allowed.
and we helped sammy buy underwear
and later my mom asked me what kind of underwear we helped her buy?
and i told her the kind for her butt?
and she acted surprised, shocked even!
so the rest of the day was maddness.
we went to brittys, heather disappeared. then we went to get pizza for the gumps!!!!
and we saw JASON THOMAS!!!!
the half black half asian half white half centipede delivery boy from pizza depot in pepperel!
oh em gee he is totally "the sex"...
so we saw him and brittany all danced around up and down for him and he was like DOUBLE U TEE H?
and i was like "word"
SO I SAT AND WATCHED THE GUMPS EAT DINNER!!!!
they ate salad!
AND WE WATCHED CONAN ON THE TTTTV!
josh gump, brit gump, and mrs gump. mr gump was still at work!
it was a hoot squared!
then we went back to gumsp and then we drove to the vfw to see if emerson needed a ride home from blood giving even though we knew he did!?
so we drove allll the way from the end of dunstable to the end of townsend....
and that took like. 30 minutes. but its all good.
so we got there and there was no emerson in sight but there wre GEESE ANIMALS!!!!
hes my HEROOOO
he was like MEH MEH MEH MEH and attacking a duck who he thought was his mother..
so then we wandered around and britty saw a sexy car and she wanted photos!
and i was like OKAYDSKAJF.
i took them from far away, cause i wasnt gonna walk up close to it, no, the guy was there.
but then as we left the vfw, brit was like AMADA TAKE GOOD PICS FOR ME OUT YOUR WINDOW
and there was some ass hole behind me so i pulled over right next to the car, being the good pal i am.
and i was like
"I HOPE THE OWNER DOESNT COME OUT"
and brit says "hah. hes like right there amada" and i thought she was kidding and i look up and theres this crazy old man with shot gun pitchfork combo in hand and hes all like
"AYYYYE WHAT YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!"
and i am all like "SHE WANTED A PICTURE OF YOUR CAR...................WE ARENT GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT.......::::DRIVE AWAY FASTLY::::"
so we dropped of the emerson man! and we drove to the gumps at max speed as to watch!:::
THE BUTTERFLY AFFECT WITH CLAN GUMP!!!
i didnt see one effin butterfly brittany, thereefore i was pisseeeeed.
near the end of the movie my family called and was all like AMANDA YOU WANT US TO COME GET YOU?!!?
and i was all like "why i am not capable of driving at night anymore?"
and they were all like "NOT...IN THE DARK!"
and i was confused?
but apparently the power in westy groton and townsend was OUT! and in dunstable, they have cows to generate power, therefore the power never dies in dunstable unless the cows refuse to come home!
SO i was all like "sure......" cause my mom wouldnt take no for an answer! so we finished the movie!
and i left the gumps!!!
I WANT A T-SHIRT THAT SAYS THIS!:
but i ran to my car that was at the end of the driveway and sat in the dark waiting for my mom and bro to find the gumps, and they took the super long way and got dark so the gump family watched me sitting in the dark flicking my lights on and off scared by the rain for about 15 minutes!
then my mom came and got me with my broho!
she drove home but without the lights on cause she didnt know how to turn them on!
and then she tried to drive in neutral!
because she has forgotten how to drive the car that she drove for 7ish years...
so we got home.
and the power was out.
we sat in a room that was lit by a fliiickering candle for an hour, i thought i was going to have a seizure, cause it was like STROBE LIGHT CANDLE IN YOUR FAAACE EPILEPSYYYYY ROCK ONNNNN!
but then the power went on! and i slept!!!
----------------the next day------------------------
today is my little brother stevens 14th birthday!
go adolescencnec and what not!
an excuse for being an evil bastard, why not i say...
so we woke up and we were all chilling outside, when all of a sudden i hear my mom yell
and i said "WHAT?!"
and she said "THE TRASH MAN IS HERE!!"
and me, my mom, my brothers, and my dad, all start RUNNNNNING!
cause the trash man wasny suppose to come until tomorrow!
and we want to recycle!
so we went on this MAD DASH! and my moms like STALL HIM!
and my brothers and dad are in the basement swearing!
and i grab the trash can!
and we;re running and im likle BASTRDDDDD!
and we were just all like AHHHHHHH AHHHHH
and so i dragged the trash can to the end and ran back up and i was all like NOOOO ITS THE END YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT! so i coached my family on! and took photos!
here they are sweet talkin him! all like "WE SO SORRY!"
and they can be seen here, walking away, triumphant over the victory and team work that was involved in the 30 second trash deployment!
intense! action shot! of walking back! from the mad dash!
so then we all just hung abouttttt
HEATHER AWARENESS MONTH!
my family hung around.
my mom cleaned poop out of the dog kennel, cause dogs poop!
my brother swam! and there is the sign i made! the sign makes me proud...
my dad communicated to me from the upstairs bathroom window!
i stared in awe at the brand new basketball hoop of justice. we have not had a basketball hoop since my brothers ex girlfriend broke it with her intense slam dunks! word!
check out my mad skills!!!!!
so we hang around some more...
we wrapped my little brothers presents!
and the dog attacked meeeee!
i cant find the effin photo.
here is one of jedi!
check out them teeeth...
extreme action shot!!!!
so then we started on our way! to lunch!
but we wanted to see gramma first!
my broho talks on his cellular device!
he was trying to contacnt my cousoins to ask them if they wanted to go to lunch but they needed to SHOOOOOWER.......
my brother wanted to go to lunch to he could open his effin presents and this is him trying to escape from the caaaaaar!
billy and i saw a train on the way there, we listened to the weezer cds on the way up and i read him excerpts from my bookage of goodness:
can you guess what this is!?
A BUG ON BILLYS FINGEEEEEER! JAPANESE!
I FAILED TO MENTION THAT I BROUGHT OZOB WITH ME!
here he is!
i always get excited when i wear ozob!
but i have to tell you guys, it appears that he is slowly deteriorating...
he'll make it, hes a sexy beast.
SO WE WENT TO BERTUCCIS
IT WAS TOO DARK FOR PHOTOS
BUT WHEN WE LEFT, I DIDNT WANT THE PASTA THAT CAME WITH MY MEEEEEAL SO I FED THE DUCKS THAT WERE ATTACKING MEEEEE!
it looks like im giving the finger but i am just throwin the pastaaaaaaaaa!
ohhhh no my bloody pasta covered hand for SHAAAAAMEUS....
so then my mom and bro and i went to target!
the place where you aint suppose to take photo-mos :)
i dont know what this is a picture of.
THEY STILL SELL YELLOW NAIL POLISH AT TARGET SO ALL YOU FOOLS WHO SAY THEY DONT YOU ARE WRONGGG WRONG WRONNNG WRONG.
inspector gadget! shit yes!
in target, my mom did a price check on a flag it was 5 dollars!
then we left! and my mom gave us those BRUSH AHHHHH things!
oh man those things do nothing but create fun excitemenetne!
billys brush AHHHH dance!
intensely! i brush ahhh!
my bush ahhhh!
my brothers brush ahhhh!
my tongue is all BRUSH AHHHHHHH!
it looks like i best be doin my BRUSH AHHHHH!
one more timeeeeeeeeee
yesyes.......i hate that commercial. oh i love to brush ahhhall night long!
so then we drove some mo!
go man go go man go!
my bro and i went to kb toy works while my mom went to PIEEEER ONEEE why dont they sell things for boats there???
my brother got the urge to ride the mini motorcycle and i laughed like a fooooool
they had an orange tag sale goin down!!!!!
ohhh i freaking love theeem.
mother goose is my biatch.
then we were bored.
and went to see MOMAAAAAAA!
my broho and the giraaaaffffffe!
my brother wants me to make a show called INNER CITY KIDS GO TO THE ZOO!
cause apparently, when inner city kids go to the zoo, insaneness happens. kind of like how australians have squirrel farms and stuff. i dunno. DONT STEAL MY IDEA FOOLS!
my mom held up this lantern that she wanted to buy me for my birthday but decided it was to big for me to hang up in my roooooom!
then she did a dance with this magical walking stick that she boughtneendd!!
my brothers toupeeee almost fell off oh nO!OO!!
then i got bored.
cause i am not really a shOPPPPPER
so we went to walmart and bought my dad some floooowers.
cause today was stevens birthday, so we bought my dad flowers!
WE GOT HOME AND IT WAS PARTY TIME 101!
my dad did stick twirling with the walking stick my mom got today
like he did at vmi
then he told me how to light certain things on fire using a lighter, which will some day come in handy. for sure.
so we went into the gazebo!
and it was present time!
here he is excited to open his first gift!
what is it, what is it!!?!?1?1
he was so happy though.
i love how his very first prenset was underpants, and he was so excited to open it, and and...it was his only non toy/fun related gift.
but i guess underwear can be fun.
then we had cake!!
my dad played pyro man in the corner, as usual.
this is the sweeeettime soccer ball my broho has gotten and i love it good cause it is cool and green.
the party died down SLOWWWWWWLYYYYYYYYYYY
my gramma said some racist stufffffffff
the rest of my family went to WALMART AND TARGETTTTTT
they came homeeee my mom got into a fight in target with some assssss holeeeeee pierced up bastarddddd who cut my brother offff in the parking lottttnesssss......
then! they found a frog!
and brought it home.
and they stole a lamp from good will
IVE BEEN WRITING THIS SINCE 9ISH
WHAT THE HELL
I HATE IT
I AM ALL DISTRACETED